Llyra Listens


Llyra Roe, Editor

While we were unable to include the exact wording of a concern from a student, they essentially sought out advice on how to go about having an intimate experience with someone.
One of the most important things to keep in mind when seeking out intimacy, is having a conversation with the person you want to experience it with. It’s important to have a serious conversation discussing boundaries to get a sense of what you’re both comfortable with. But keep in mind that just because someone might be comfortable with something one time, doesn’t mean they’ll be comfortable with something the next time. That’s why asking for consent is ALWAYS needed. Even if you think the person will be into it: ask. Even if it’s in the “moment”: ask. Even if you’ve done it before: ASK!!! People are always allowed to change their minds, and it’s the other person’s responsibility to respect their answer. If someone does not give consent, the other person must not argue, try to convince them, OR DO IT ANYWAY. Remember that in order to get consent, a person must have a verbal, enthusiast, YES! The absence of no does not mean a yes, what a person wearing isn’t a yes, and an “I don’t know,” “I guess no,” or “maybe” is not a yes. Keep in mind that just because someone might not want to physical relationship with you, doesn’t mean they don’t like you or feel any differently about you!
“This girl and I have been involved in some drama, and I feel like everyone is seeing her as the victim when she’s the one who started everything. What should I do?”
There’s always two sides to every story when it comes to conflict. It’s likely that people have only heard her side and believe her. It’s totally fair to explain to people your side of the story in order for them to understand what exactly is going on. I would also recommend working things out to the best of your ability. Being the bigger person and apologizing says a lot about your character, even if you don’t feel the need to apologize. Karma- the idea of what goes around comes around- will definitely see you trying to resolve everything. Consider saying something like “I’m sorry about all this drama,” if you don’t feel the need to apologize for your actions. Resolving the issue as a whole is a lot easier than explaining to everyone what exactly is going on. Plus, drama is always so emotionally draining. I’m sure that if you two just tried to at least get on decent terms with each other, it would make your lives a lot easier. Best of luck trying to figure everything out!