The text came through just as I was falling asleep.  John’s text read, “Its time.”  I text back, “Time for what?” not understanding.  John says, “I just can’t do this anymore.”  I sit up in bed, my heart is racing. What does he mean?  I think back to our week and remember that John has not been smiling much, conversation has been short and stilted, and he has seemed tired.

   I ask him, “are you okay? How can I help?”  He doesn’t reply for some time and I start to worry.  What is he trying to tell me?  With shaking hands I text, “John are you thinking of suicide?” I put it all together and realize that John is thinking of harming himself.  Thankfully John answers back and we talk about how to help him.

   Does this scenario sound familiar?  Sometimes our friends say things and we blow it off but other times it is serious and we need to take notice.

   Taking notice and asking hard questions are some of the steps to identifying suicidal feelings and actions.  According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the simple act of talking and noticing will save lives.  It can be hard to ask a friend or acquaintance if they are thinking of committing suicide but that is exactly the question we all need to ask.

   Trust your instincts.  If you are thinking it, then they are too, and be the friend who asks the hard questions.

   How to be a noticer?  First, recognize when a friend or acquaintance exhibits change.  Some changes might include talking of death or dying, increasing use of alcohol and drugs, isolating themselves, and/or giving away personal items.

   Not everyone displays symptoms of depression when thinking of suicide.  Many people do reach out for help in some way though. If we are listening and paying attention we can ask, “are you thinking of suicide?” I know you might be thinking that this question alone will put them over the edge and make the suicide happen but trust me it will NOT.  Asking the direct and hard questions will allow the suicidal person an opportunity to tell someone their thoughts and plans.

   Once you have noticed it’s time to take “safe action.” What does this mean?  Well if someone is suicidal then it means getting help. No matter what you think they will do, you must get help.

    Help looks different in many situations.  Sometimes stopping and calling 911 is the only option. That is the best option if you just don’t know what to do.  You could tell someone else and ask them for help on how to help someone.  Help includes going to an ER, calling the crisis line, telling an adult or counselor, seeking out the police, or if you are alone getting where there are others to help you and your suicidal friend.

   Remember you don’t have to “know” how to fix this.  You just have to seek help for safety.  Safety first.  This is the one time in your life where drama is perfectly okay and expected…call 911…call your parents…seek out your counselor…FIND HELP.

   Please don’t worry that your friend will disown you for tattling.  Tattling saves lives. Be the friend that saves a life.

   Did you know that in the US alone that there are more suicides than homicides The National Institute of Mental Health also states that “suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10-34”.  That is right, those as young as 10 years old think of suicide and carry it through.  That is why we need to be noticers and put safety first for our friends and family.

  Pay attention, ask hard questions, and seek help. Suicides continue to rise in the United States. This is something you can help with.  Take the time to recognize the signs, be the friend that notices, ask difficult questions, and get help!

   You can call the Skagit County Crisis Line at 1-800-584-3578

   The National Suicide Prevention Website is:  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

   Here you can call and also chat! 1-800-273-8255

   Call 911

   Seek out your School Counselor or another trusted adult.